The British fashion police hit Dublin in big style when Trinny and Susannah put on this event. For a posh pair they have some foul language as they try to communicate with the common people.

The show on British television has developed from a tasteful style magazine into an examination of the most common physical faults found in the public.

In the beginning, they just used to run a scissors through your old stuff, and give you a cheque for £2,000 for a trip to the high street.

Later, they started to make you change in a room with 360-degree mirrors. Now women are stripped naked and viewed through screens which show up all the bumps and bulges in the female silhouette just like an x-ray.

All women are beautiful, and can dress to suit their body types: apple-shaped, pear-shaped or top-heavy. Even Trinny has ‘saddle bags’, which she showed us on stage, and Susannah has her own problems.

Some women were plucked from the audience according to their body shape. Trinny and Susannah started feeling a woman all over to assess how top-heavy she was, trying to guess her bust size. She ‘disappeared’ behind a screen and had to change her bra, as apparently most of us are wearing the wrong one as we are not aware of our true size.

Susannah removed her own tights on stage, and put on a pair of magic knickers. Trinny began to swear like Madonna. The result was what some would say was the height of vulgarity.

The fashion show which preceded this exhibitionism was a range of Irish fashion which consisted of mainly beautiful clothes worn by stick-thin models who strutted the catwalk with a very high, exaggerated stride.

It’s great looking at nice clothes and the show was good, though not quite what it could have been. The champagne was flowing and there was lots of free stuff, like chocolate– apparently models eat a lot of this as they are so busy avoiding other foods. There were also gift bags which turned out to be of little use.

Afterwards, we went to wander the various stalls, and I had a skin ‘analysis’ done. I have never been subjected to a more invalid unscientific test as there was no way this equipment could measure these things: sun damage, collagen, sebum and elasticity. Absolutely no way!

We bought some coconut oil and left.