“Instead of woe let there be wow.” Who said that? Was it John F Kennedy? No. Was it James Joyce? No. It was our very own Eugene Davey, Chairman of our Club. The occasion was the annual bash in the Tara Towers.

Everyone gathered to the sellout event expertly organised by Jacqui McDonnell with the help of Sinead Vivash and Elaine Maguire and the evening took on its usual routine.

The highlight of this year's event was the parading of the Sean O'Siochain trophy by three members of the St Patrick's Ringsend girls' school team, Chelsea Spain, Sarah Cleary and Niamh Farrell who captured the honours the previous Thursday in the hallowed grounds of Croke Park.

The team was only formed this year under the expert guidance of Principal, Martin Lynch who was observed dropping a tear on to his left shoe lace as the girls did their lap of honour. To get to Croke Park in their very first year was a major honour. To win it was a major achievement and to win it by such a score (8-9 to 0-1) was a major surprise!

The girls received a standing ovation from the 200 crowd as they paraded the Cup, called after the former General Secretary of the GAA and founding member of Clanna Gael. In attendance was C.E. of Dublin Port Mr Enda Connellan whose company sponsored the girl's team and who of course also sponsor the Club.

Minister for Microphones Conor Dodd steered us through the evening's events and he held Enda in such high esteem that he kept calling him Enda Colleran after the famous Galway Footballer of the 60s. Enda was chuffed at such a reference.

Next up was the Player of the Year awards. It started off with Ladies' Football and the winner was Rachael Byrne. An absolutely brilliant footballer with skill to burn, at 16 years of age she became the youngest member to receive this trophy.

This was followed by Camogie Player of the Year and the recipient was life-long member Elaine Maguire. A super hurler, Elaine who is a mother of two, is an example to us all as she never ever misses a training session. She also got a box of Cadburys chocolates glued on the trophy.

Junior Footballer of the Year was awarded to Mark Moore who unfortunately tripped on his way to the podium and fractured his ear lobe but nevertheless was as proud as punch at such an accolade being bestowed upon him.

A special award was made to Roisin Phibbs, she who created the logo for all DDDA material, who is taking a year out to study Camogie and the effect it has on women in Wellington New Zealand.

And just before we sat down for the dessert (we had to stand for the dinner as the seats didn't arrive on time) the Junior Hurling award went to Philly O'Neill. Philly, a popular choice is a young lad from Pearse St with Cork connections and whose game has improved so much in the last few years that he was a shoo-in for the trophy. Philly, who couldn't make it on the night as he was doing a nixer on a car let the car fall on him when Scottser rang to tell him the news.

We all ate our dessert amid whispered murmurings about the recipients. Everyone was saying that surely the Legend was due an award but that he would never get his head into the cup to drink from it.

The Dood interrupted our Last Supper to continue on with the awards. Next up was the Inter Footballer of the Year and the choice of his team mates was David Lyons. Amid tumultuous applause Lofty David got up from his seat only to hit the ceiling (he's 8'-11”) and never made it to the stage to collect his honour. The lads brought it down to him and nestled it in his arms as he lay out cold on the floor. David is still there at time of writing and the Tara Towers have hired a crane to remove him.

This unusual episode was followed by the Inter Hurler of the Year and this went to Stephen ʻRonnie' Coleman. Now this was a complete contrast to the David Lyons episode as Ronnie is only 3'4”. Ronnie was finding it difficult to get through the throng of well-wishers so he just walked under the tables until he got to the stage. He was followed by Declan Campbell through the tables who then helped him down with the trophy.

The highlight of the awards ceremony each year of course is the Club Man of the Year. Now this was a very difficult choice and the Committee spent several days in a hotel in West Clare deliberating over the numerous candidates available. In the end the choice was not unanimous or anything like it but the thoughts of spending another night away from the club pushed the committee to drawing a name out of a brown cider bottle bag.

As the clock ticked towards 12.00 midnight in the Towers and the drums began to beat, the crowd eased down on their gibberish talk as Chairman Eugene Davey, also Junior Minister for Microphones carried the gold sealed envelope on to the stage.

Hearts fluttered, souls danced, nerves swayed, toes wriggled, tongues dried as Eugene opened the Envelope. Eugene stuttered somewhat as the envelope revealed the invoice from the Tara Towers for the night. Eugene who was down to the VAT on the invoice before he realised it was the wrong envelope was interrupted by the senior Minister, the Dood who quickly recovered the correct envelope.

Eugene, in case that the recipient might lose the run of himself, began by insulting his wife and children before making the longawaited announcement. This award fell to the Cranky Yankee, Gareth Saunders who having returned from the United States of California some years ago has never ever been seen out of the Club except when he socialises in O'Reillys but that's only an odd time (Yeah right).

But all joking aside, Gareth has done some trojan work since his return. As he walked to the podium everybody stood up as they couldn't see him because the tables were in the way (Gareth is another one not blessed with inches). Amid chants of “speech, speech” Eugene told him to sit down in case he would make a hash of it.

Eugene finished off the official proceedings with the longawaited Chairman's Address. He thanked everybody for all the work they did during the year. He said he wished to thank especially those who did all the moaning throughout the year. Eugene continued that moaning had its place in every progressive club as it kept people on their toes and was a mechanism of finding out who your real enemies are.

He proudly told the hushed crowd that Clanna Gael were top of the league in this regard and that everybody knew that Clanna Gael Fontenoy were the biggest moaners in Ireland. However, he added that it was time to change tack and then came the famous quote: “Let there be wow instead of woe.” The audience was aghast at such a show of sheer brilliant prose by the former car salesman.

Eugene now had the audience captivated and everything was going down a treat. He made reference to Treasurer Billy Byrne and Secretary Ciaran Murphy. He told them that their attire of jeans and sweat shirt was cool but had every sign of men living on their own.

He suggested that they look for a belle among the extended family of the club and that next year they might consider a jacket and tie. Now this was the stuff of brute honesty and one that makes the Clanna Gael Fontenoys annual Dinner Dance such a wonderful and unique occasion.

The new Juvenile Committee were all lumped together with their darling wives and they have a better understanding of the Club and its characters after this bash. Dave Walsh and Roger McGrath had a big falling- out over who was going to represent their table at singing. Roger claimed that he has cups and trophies for regaling audiences the length and breadth of Ireland while Dave boasted of a degree in Music from University College of Limerick.

All real childish stuff really and in the end none of them sang. Pat Duffy is the real deal at singing on this Committee and will represent them next year. Pat was only heard once in the Club and whilst a very good singer, five hours of the one voice can strain the best of ears. And all this was before the music started. More in next edition.

One sour note was when Louise McCartney went up to claim one of the spot prizes. The Dood Conor claimed that she never paid for her raffle ticket and refused to hand over the prize. Louise justifiably has brought this case to the Arbitration Tribunal in The Hague and we eagerly await their decision.

So, folks, we all know each other a wee bit better and our opinions of one another border on madness. But we are one big happy family. And we will enter 2008 with that frame of mind that no matter what our differences are we have one common goal and that is to provide the youth of our area with the best possible chance in life.

At this stage we would like to thank all our friends and supporters especially our sponsors Dublin Port Co. for their continued support throughout the year and to wish all in the Community a very happy Christmas and a special New Year.

P.S. St Stephen's night disco with Pearse Rooney and Gerard McGuiness. Tickets available shortly from behind the bar. Also ring in the New Year with the club's resident D.J.

Top: Winning Croke Park girls Niamh Farrell, Sarah Cleary and Chelsea Spain hold aloft the Seán Ó Siocháin Trophy with Enda Connellan, C.E. Dublin Port.

Middle: Chairman Eugene Davey awards Rachel Byrne Ladies

Bottom: Chairman Eugene Davey presents the Clubman of the Year award to Gareth Saunders.