Grace is not impressed by some of the work on show at the Tate Gallery

On a recent trip to London, I visited the Tate Modern Art Gallery. Four words. The Emperor’s New Clothes. Before I’m accused of art depreciation, I hereby let you know, I adore art, luvvy, but in the Tate Modern some of the artists seem to be having a laugh at our expense.

You’re shuffling along, approaching lovely paintings with their rich oil colours and life-like forms… then you sail through another movement, cubism this time, abstract, but the shapes and colours are nice and would suit anybody’s living-room wall… then… you’re face to face with two stuffed ducks stuck to a blank blue canvas.

Now, even I can find inspiration in farmyards, but my imagination would not embrace what I can only describe as ‘shock art’. Besides didn’t Hilda Ogden from ‘Coronation Street’ have something similar hanging up in her living-room?

I had a quick look around to see if anyone was gazing in appreciation, but they weren’t. They looked confused and in turn they were observing other people’s reaction.

Moving swiftly on, I encountered some sculptures. Slabs of white wood piled on top of each other. “I could have done that, I’ve a load of that stuff in my garden shed,” I overheard someone next to me say. And don’t give me, “yeah but they didn’t do it, someone else did.”
Of course, someone else did it. It would have to be someone pretty arrogant to produce something as gratuitous as that. And what about the heads that are commissioning works like this?

It took a child to tell the emperor he wasn’t wearing any clothes. Maybe they should get children to run art galleries. That way, we’re guaranteed plenty of uncensored truth. Now that is a rare treasure.