Marie is well-known to many of our readers and we were delighted when she sent us this monologue. For any of her friends who have lost touch with her, we are allowed to tell you that Marie can be contacted at 10 Leeson Park, Dublin 6.

Old school pals of Dumbbell Hill
Classmates of student days.
We made a rule on leaving school
That we would be friends always.

And once a year we’d meet
And have a gossip in the Gresham
And reminisce on this and that
And Mary B’s profession.

This rule we made in school girl days
Has proved to be a curse
Each year the boredom of these meetings
Gradually grows worse.

But I am Mrs Kilmurray-Keane
And live on Killiney Hill
I do the pouring out, of course,
And always pay the bill.

Here they come, “Good gracious
Pat you’re getting fat, Doreen dear– you’re thinner
What’s this I hear now,
Kathleen dear, of you and Mr Skinner.”

Is your tea all right? Are you sure now, quite.
Would you like me to pour some warm?
Oh it’s such fun when the four of us meet
Just like we did in the dorm.

Remember you had a crush
on that big lump Carmel McHugh
She married, of course, and has got her divorce
And lives with a coloured Hindu.

Pat do tell me now how are the twins
Are you still out Cabra West
Gracious now one does not know where to begin
I have so much to get off my chest.

You look lovely in pink Dunnes Stores I think
I could never wear one I fear
But it’s lovely on you– It nearly fits too
My aunt had one like it last year.

Remember Lil how mad you got
At the one you thought was your beau.
You were daft about boys, and you made so much noise
It’s surprising you made it with Joe.

You’re not going, Do? Must you really, oh no.
Well ring me now darling remember.
Where on earth did she get that dress
It looks like the kiss of death.

She’s aged I think, perhaps it’s the drink
Her dress is a mess, did she make it herself?
No wonder she’s left on the shelf.
She was always a swot and look where she’s got.

Well, she’s off for the bus and now there’s just us
We can have a real chin wag.

Kay dear you’re the one friend on whom I can depend
Remember the history exam.
And the way that you fibbed when they found out you cribbed

at looks dreadfully dry– have some jam
Kay dear you’ve not changed a bit
And that old navy blue is so terribly ‘You’
And you can’t be too easy to fit

You’re not dashing away, Oh no I shall pay
Was that one our waitress or which?
Well bless you Kay dear–
And see you next year
It’s been wonderful meeting you. Bitch!!