ROVER'S REVENGE IN 'NAM'
By John Devlin

 

I spent a few days on a ferry boat touring in the Mekong Delta in south Vietnam. While there I heard that dog, cat and rat were frequently on the menu.

The trouble being a pale-face in these parts, is when you go into a restaurant, you are presented with a western menu. Unless someone in the staff speaks English (I speak zero Vietnamese), you are stuck with the western menu so your chance of tasting the exotic is gone.

Back in Ho Chi Minh City (Saigon) I was explaining this to a local, and he gave me the name of a street which had five dog eateries and, in a nearby side street, had a bank of cat eateries.

Next afternoon I took a rickshaw to dog town. The restaurant was called ‘Cay To’ - literally meaning ‘Young Dog’, and just so you wouldn’t be mistaken, there was a picture of Lassie on the menu (no kidding).

In front of the restaurant was a large glass display cabinet with the various parts of cooked dog on show. Looking into the cabinet there was no mistaking the characteristic canine hind legs, beside those a row of tails, and below, dog’s chest complete with six nipples. To the left was a barbecue, where the ‘bean an tí’ was grilling various canine entrails.

From what I gathered, there was dog soup, dog kebab, dog stew, or just plain dog. The one thing they didn’t serve was dog pie, which was a pity, as I fancied a bit of German Sheperd’s pie.

I decided the best way to order was to go up to the glass cabinet, to point out what I’d like. Being Asia, foreigners are always advised to double check the price. Now I’ve done some odd things on this trip, but asking a waiter “how much is that doggie in the window?” has to take the Bonio.
I ordered unwisely. As a starter, I was presented with a plate of cold slices of dog leg, complete with fat and skin. It looked very uninviting.

Before I ate the first mouthful, I paused to reflect. I really felt guilty eating man’s best friend. Dogs had always been knocking around when we were growing up: Trixie, Trudy, Ringo, Oscar, Wendy. No self respecting gang was complete without a dog. In fact, Fido was the only gang member who you could really trust.

What did dog taste like? It tasted cat, if you know what I mean. The cold meat was like dense, chewy roast beef. The waiter saw me struggling, so gave me some chilli sauce to make it more palatable– hot dog!!

The next course was sizzling dog chest, which was rubbery and very hard to get down, I left half. In this restaurant I was in a minority, as it was packed with customers (90% male) all tucking into dog, beer and fags.

During the US war against Vietnam (probably America’s biggest act of global terrorism since the dropping of two atomic bombs on civilian cities), the US had a policy of destroying the rice crops of the Vietnamese in order to starve the people into surrender.

A main battle ground was the Cu Chi area where the Vietnamese lived in an underground tunnel network totalling 250km. In these tunnels, they had kitchens, first-aid centres, living quarters and munitions manufacture.

Having tried everything else to destroy the tunnels, the Yanks thought it would be a good military tactic to send down Alsatian dogs to ferret out the Vietnamese. To the starving locals, these dogs were manna from heaven, over 400 G.I. Fidos went missing in action.

Although it is a source of pride to Vietnamese people that they managed to rout the US from their country, they paid a high price. For every US soldier they killed (58,000 approx) they lost over fifty lives (3 million plus).

And while the Vietnamese were fighting soldiers the US had no problem hosing down civilians with petrol, napalm, machine guns and all sorts of diabolical chemicals. Even today, children are being born with horrible mutations caused by America’s chemical weapons.

Back to the meal in hand in the ‘Cay To’ restaurant. My table was outside on the pavement, so every now and then a local mutt would come trotting by. The dogs would slow down, sniff the air and look in.

Needless to say, I tried not to make eye contact. I wasn’t sure if these dogs where looking for scraps as in food, or Scraps as in a family member. One heartless customer even threw a dog a bone– the dog sniffed it and walked away.

I asked for the bill, so the waiter brought the good news. For one starter, main course, side-salad and two beers; the cost of my dog’s dinner was only €2.30.

Now, for all you Lassie lovers who are frothing at the mouth reading this, you will be glad to know that the next day I got a bad dose of ‘Rover’s Revenge’.

John Devlin is a local resident who left his job to go travelling for year. We hope to bring you more tales of his travels in future issues.

 

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